At the Bradford County Drug Awareness Rally held in Towanda on May 5, organizer Keith Kinsman (top, center) captivated those in attendance with a poignant speech about addiction and the drug that took his son, Ben (above), away from his family and friends earlier this year. His speech is shared here in it’s entirety for those who missed it.
Less than three months ago, on what seemed like the coldest morning of winter, I found my son’s frozen and lifeless body on the front steps of our home.
His name is Ben, and his funeral was held right up the road at the Independent Baptist Church. Ben’s friends all came to pay their respects. His boss loved him like a son, and she came to say goodbye Our extended family were there – even our cousins who drove from NYC to be with us.
Also attending that evening were close to five hundred others who filled our church to overflow and whose hearts were aching right along with ours. I see a lot of those same faces here tonight.
I looked in your tear-filled eyes and said ‘I saw love’….I said ‘I felt love’….love and compassion from a community that was still in shock from three overdose deaths in one weekend.
I see and feel that love tonight as well, made manifest by all that so many have done to make this rally possible. I spoke of the strength, comfort, and peace received from our Heavenly Father. He never left our sides during the deepest darkest days of our lives. I discovered that He is never more present than when His children suffer and through it all our eyes have been on Him.
It seems to me that, to one degree or another, we are all touched by addiction. Its the steady stream of young people in the obituaries, the iconic rock star found dead in his home, the elderly person with nagging hip pain, the high school football player injured on the field, and the construction worker with back trouble.
It’s the straight-A student that snorts a pain pill at a party and in the blink of an eye is using heroine. It’s the mother who desperately attempts CPR while her daughter’s life slowly but surely slips away. It’s that one family member that uses, and its the whole family that suffers. It’s not just “those people” anymore. It’s the story of us and it’s a modern-day American tragedy.
A wise man once said that little kids are a handful but bigger kids are a heart-full. Ellie and I will tell you the heart-full is much harder than the handful. That’s especially true when you can’t stop your older kids from hurting themselves. You have to watch them suffer and sometimes die.
When heroin enters the home, it is literally an evil that you can feel. It’s like a deadly snake that hides and lies in wait – not satisfied until it robs, kills, and destroys. I thought I killed that snake, but it ended up killing my son.
I think we can all agree that we’ve got to increase our efforts to stop the problem before it starts. I’m teaming up with others who have excellent programs already in place, like Marlene Rohe (DRIFT/NOPE). You will hear from her tonight. She’s devoted herself to reaching the kids before they take that first pain pill, before they snort that first line of heroin, before that first pin prick that haunts them for the rest of their lives.
One thing we can all do is think long and hard about filling that next prescription for opiate pain killers. The link between them and future heroin use is obvious and undeniable. Four out of five heroin users begin with pain pills. The vast majority never dreampt they would end up using heroin.
They start by taking the pills. Next, they crush and snort them. Those pills get scarce and expensive, but changes have already taken place in the brain, and they need that opiate high so they move on to the cheaper more powerful alternative – Heroin. They snort that for a while, but before long, if they live long enough, most start using needles.
Ben smoked pot but was dead set against all hard drug use until he received his first prescription for pain pills at 27 years of age. He experienced the opiate high from those pills, and a year later he was dead from a heroin overdose. It’s important to note and for young ears to hear…Ben didn’t die from injecting heroin. He never got to the needle stage. All he did was sniff it up his nose.
Many believe pain pills are the root cause of this heroin epidemic. Why do we permit what is basically pharmaceutical heroin to be manufactured and distributed on such a massive scale? Maybe we could find that answer if we followed the money.
The United States accounts for less than 5 percent of the world’s population, but we consume over 80 percent of the worlds pain medicine. Are we in that much more pain than anyone else?
Of course not, but we are dealing with an obscene and horrendous number of opiate related deaths and addictions. Pennsylvania’s Secretary of Drugs and Alcohol stated recently that we are in the midst of the worst epidemic since the great flu of 1918.
And yet, the only solutions proposed so far appear anemic and half hearted. We need to pressure our representatives on this issue and hold them accountable.
One more thing on the pills: If you have leftovers in your medicine cabinet, somebody probably wants them and will do practically anything to get them. Properly dispose of them before they fall into the wrong hands.
I would ask that you pay close attention to what the sheriff (CJ Walters) has to say tonight. He will announce new and bold initiatives. They will be successful if we step up and do our part.
We need to utilize these new tools to quietly work behind the scenes helping local, state, and what I believe will soon be federal law enforcement crack down and sweep this county clean.
Our veterans are memorialized all across Bradford County, and rightfully so. They fought and are still fighting for our freedom, our safety, and our way of life.
It’s time for us to fight now…right here on the home front. Our strength is in our cause and our solidarity. If we stand together with law enforcement we can make a difference. We can save some lives.
On the subject of treatment…one thing has become painfully clear to me since Ben’s death. For any treatment to work, we’ve got to love those who have become addicted. We have to remember who they were before they became sick, and our priority has to be helping them stay alive until they can get well.
I’m not happy about some of the deficiencies that are related to treatment and recovery in our county. Some are well-known and others I’ve discovered just lately. But I am told they are being addressed. A group will be forming in the very near future, and we will keep a close eye on the progress…or lack thereof.
That said, I am encouraged by some things you will hear about tonight, and because I’m convinced that our commissioners and sheriff have a heart for this issue. I believe they are committed to getting this right and that we are at the dawn of a new era in Bradford County.
The vision for this rally was to bring awareness, build bridges, and break the stigma of addiction. Ben was desperately ashamed of what he had become. He felt the stigma. Often times that stigma stops people from seeking treatment. We have got to stop seeing addiction as some sort of moral deficiency or character flaw.
I, like so many of you here tonight believe with all my heart in the spiritual solution to this crisis. But there is room for both God and science in the treatment of addiction.
We have to acknowledge that strange and powerful changes take place within the brain when addiction occurs. You can clearly see those changes in MRIs, especially when that addiction is opiate related.
We need to learn more. We need to love more. We need to better understand the true nature of addiction.
To those struggling…If you can’t stop using right now, please don’t use while you’re alone. It is incredibly dangerous. And, if you live with someone that is struggling, get some Narcan and learn how to use it.
To all who are addicted, who love someone that is or lost someone that was…We have assembled every bit of help we could find for you, and they are here tonight. Make your way to the grassy areas on both sides of the courthouse at any time during the rally.
There is no stigma here. No one will judge you or look down their noses at you. They are wonderful people who came here out of love and concern. Be sure to talk to them before you leave.
You cared enough to come…I will share with you what were previously very private thoughts:
(At this moment, Kinsman’s fellow parishioner Mike Shanks played six of the seven last notes of “Silent Night” on piano and paused).
Something’s missing right? That last note. It bothers me, and to a much larger degree that’s how I saw Ben’s life – a song with a missing note. The graduate degree he never received. The career he dreamed of but never attained. The girl he never married. The first child he never held. All missing notes.
But I hold on to the time we had together at the end of his life. Six weeks for which I will be eternally grateful. I hold on to the hope that there was a reason he came home before died. That there was a reason his heart softened during that time and a reason that he drew closer to God.
That Ben’s death was not in vain. That his destiny was to leave this world as he did so that others could stay a while longer. That God had a plan, and that plan has something to do with why we are all here tonight.
That the last note was played in the song of Ben’s life and that he is in heaven now and resting in peace.
(Kinsman’s presentation ended with Shanks playing all seven of the last notes of “Silent Night”).